While typically seen as the parent who plays around with his child and is the breadwinner of the family, a father plays an equally important role in shaping a child’s self-esteem, character and values. Activities that your husband can do with baby such as playing with him/her or going on walks together helps to build baby’s physical, emotional and cognitive well-being. It is important that your husband plays a part in baby’s upbringing together with you so that a strong paternal bond can be developed to help baby grow up confidently.
Ways You Can Help Your Husband Be a Supportive Father Encourage him to be involved in baby duties
As a new mum, most of your time will be preoccupied with caring for baby. You might not make as much time as you used to for your husband. However, you can use this opportunity to create bonding moments together as a family. Encourage him to take up duties such as bathing, changing diapers or keeping baby entertained. This can help to forge strong family bonds between you, your husband and baby.
Practice makes perfect
Your husband may not be perfect in doing his baby duties right from the start. Be patient with him and guide him along the way. Your husband will slowly pick up the skills to care for baby. Encourage him so he is motivated and feels appreciated when he plays his part in taking care of baby.
Remind him to make time
A father tends to be the breadwinner of the family. Sometimes, he may come home tired after a long day at work and wants to take a long nap. However, it is important that he spends time with baby to ensure that the special father-child bond remains strong. You can sit down together with him and help review his schedule so that he can make some time for baby. Some activities your husband can do with baby include taking him/her out for a short walk in a pram, simple baby exercises or gently rocking him/her to sleep.
Be calm
The tension and stress of raising a baby may take its toll on you and you may lose your temper easily. However, your husband will also get discouraged if you nit-pick or take your irritation out on him often. You can keep your feelings in check and take breaks when you can so you can be in the right mindset to talk things through with your husband.
Let him express his feelings too!
As a father, he feels the need to stay strong for the family and will tend to keep his emotions to himself. Thus, it is important to have an open channel of communication between you and your husband so that you know how the other is feeling. This way, you can also find solutions to any difficulties or concerns each of you may have.
Show affection and cuddle up
Encourage him to show his affection for your baby by cuddling or staying close to baby frequently. He can also learn how to swaddle your baby to make it easier to carry baby around and keep him/her comfortable. This way, your husband can strengthen the bond between him and baby.
Work towards being a good role model
When your baby grows up, he/she will look up to you and your husband as role models and he/she may pick up on your habits too. Encourage each other to start getting into positive habits so that when your child grows up, he/she can learn from you and make those good habits a part of his/her lifestyle and personality.
Parenthood often does not happen alone. Fathers play an equally important role as they shape a child’s relationship within the family and instill positive values in him/her. Taking care of a new baby may be a challenging task but it can be managed by teaming up with your husband to ensure both of you provide optimal care for your newborn. It can also help to take some weight of parenthood off your shoulders and create good memories to look back upon together.
Notes:
Adamsons, K., & Buehler, C. (2007). Mothering versus fathering versus parenting: Measurement equivalence in parenting measures. Parenting: Science and Practice, 7(3), 271–303. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1080/15295190701498686
Cabrera, N., Volling, B. and Barr, R. (2018) Fathers Are Parents, Too! Widening the Lens on Parenting for Children's Development. Child Development Perspectives, 12 (3), 152-157. The Society for Research in Child Development. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1111/cdep.12275
Health Hub (2018) Daddy, You Are Important. Ministry of Health Singapore. Available at: https://www.healthhub.sg/live-healthy/1254/baby-daddy-you-are-important
Krisch, J. (2020) The Science of Dad and the ‘Father Effect’. Fatherly Website. Available at: https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/science-benefits-of-fatherhood-dads-father-effect/
Meier, A., Musick, K., Fischer, J. and Flood, S. (2018) Mothers' and Fathers' Well‐Being in Parenting Across the Arch of Child Development. Journal of Marriage and Family, 80 (4), 992-1004. National Council on Family Relations. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12491
